


Mashed Up

by ChaoticNeurosis



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bad at tagging, Dean Returns, F/M, Longing, Love Triangle (sort of), Meh, Tragedy, its complicated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-02-23 09:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23609608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticNeurosis/pseuds/ChaoticNeurosis
Summary: Dean's back from Purgatory. He's reunited with Sam, but there's one person missing from his crew.She's missing, or at least she doesn't want to be found. After leaving Sam to live a normal life, she left and didn't look back. She's been hunting by herself ever since. After spotting Dean driving the Impala, she checks in with some hunters, and sure enough, Dean Winchester is back. So she tracks them, keeps tabs, but keeps herself hidden for the sake of everyone involved. Especially Dean.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Original Female Character, Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

When he finally came back, this wasn’t what he expected. He wasn’t expecting to come through the other side in Maine. Blood caked his face and clothes, a year of constant battle evident. Some things he could never forget - no matter how badly he wanted to. It was like he’d done a tour of war and came back a hardened veteran. His battle buddy wasn’t the most orthodox, but it was all he had, and they trusted each other till the end. No matter what. For whatever it was worth, Benny Lafitte always came through when Dean needed him, and he had done the same for Benny. Dean never expected to trust or rely on a vampire, but Purgatory was a place you couldn’t be too choosy on who your allies were. 

Meanwhile in Kermit, Texas, the younger of the Winchesters packed a bag in the night, trying to stay quiet for the sake of the woman sleeping in the bed. As he zipped the backpack, he stared at her, and his heart ached. Sam loved her, wanted to stay with her, but he had to go. He sighed with the heaviness he felt, gave his dog one last pet, and walked away. He didn’t know that she watched him leave. He paused, almost talking himself out of leaving, but with a deep breath, he walked out the door, started up the Impala, and drove away. 

In a small town in Louisiana, Dean’s arm burned from carrying the vampire’s essence, so when he finally unloaded Benny, it was a relief. The two friends split ways but promised to stay in contact if things got hairy. Dean began travelling back to the cabin to reunite with his brother and...her. He had missed his brother, but she was on his mind more often than he wanted to admit. The fiery woman meant so much to him, and he needed to see her again. To hold her, even if just to ground himself. 

Dean waited in the small cabin in Whitefish, Montana, and when Sam walked through the door, he sprayed him with borax and holy water. Not a leviathan. Not a demon. Dean did the same to himself to prove to Sam he was human, cutting himself with a silver knife as the final step. Human. 

The brothers hugged tightly in reunion, Sam grinning at seeing his brother again. 

“Dude…” Sam began. “You - You’re freaking alive. I mean, what the hell happened?” 

“Well, I guess standing too close to exploding Dick sends your ass straight to Purgatory.” 

Sam raised his brows, not sure he heard his brother correctly. “You were in Purgatory?”

Dean nodded, a serious expression plastered and unfaltering. 

“For the whole year?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah. Time flies when you’re running for your life.” 

“Well how’d you get out?”

“I guess whoever built that hole didn’t want me in there anymore than I did.” Dean smiled, but it wasn’t in humor. He was relieved to be out, yes, but each word brought memories with it. 

“What does that mean?”

“I’m here, okay?” He tried to change the subject. 

“Well, what about Cas? Was he there?”

Dean’s expression fell, his green irises redirecting to the worn wooden floor of the cabin. He shifted on his feet uncomfortably and moved to ease the tension that built in his body at the question. 

“Yeah, Cas didn’t make it.” Dean pursed his lips as he replayed the memory in his mind. Cas falling away, Dean not being able to pull the angel with him through the portal. 

“What exactly does that mean?”

“Something happened to him down there. Things got pretty hairy towards the end, and he...just let go.” Dean’s tone was grave, and he felt the heaviness in his shoulders. 

Sam was almost in unbelief. “So he’s dead. You saw him die?”

Dean’s head bobbed in a small nod. “I saw enough.” . 

“Right. Dean, I’m sorry.”

Dean pursed his lips and cocked his head to one side, his eyes searching the dusty floor. “Yeah. Me too.” He turned away again. “So you - I can’t believe you’re actually here. You know that half your numbers are out of service? Felt like I was leaving messages in the wind.” He opened the old refrigerator and retrieved two beers, handing one to his brother. He sat at the rickety table and waited for Sam to join him. 

Sam began walking toward the table. “Yeah. I-I-I didn’t get your messages.” 

“How come?” He took a sip of his beer. 

“Probably because I ditched the phones.” 

Dean blinked, surprised. “Because…?” he prompted.

Sam took a deep breath, anticipating how his brother might react. “I guess, um...I guess something happened to me this year, too.”

Dean stared up at his brother, a mix of curiosity and shock in his expression.

Sam shrugged as he moved closer to the table. “I don’t hunt anymore.”

Dean chuckled, disbelief apparent.

The younger Winchester gave a small smile. “Yeah.”

Dean reclined back in his chair. “And the sun just imploded.” Sammy scoffed and rolled his eyes, knowing his brother didn’t want to believe what was being said. “What?”

Sam sighed again. “Nothing. Um, just-”

" _Y_ _ou_ , Sam. You quit?”

Sam nodded and gave another small shrug. “Yeah. Yeah, I - You were gone...Dean. Cas was gone, Bobby was dead. I mean, Crowley even shipped off Kevin and Meg to who-knows-where."

Dean gave his brother an accusatory look. “So you turned tail on the family business.”

“Nothing says family quite like the whole family being dead.” 

“I wasn’t dead.” Dean shook his head as he spoke and he stood from the table, aggravation rising in his chest. “In fact, I was knee deep in God’s armpit killing monsters, which, I thought, is what we actually do.” 

“Yes, Dean. And far as I knew, what we do is the thing that got every single member of my family killed. I had no one - no one. And for the first time in my life, I was completely alone. And, honestly, I didn’t exactly have a roadmap. So yeah, I fixed up the Impala, and I just...drove.” 

Dean crossed his arms and stared at his brother. He knew he had always said to never go looking for each other if something happened, but, for some reason, this felt different. This felt like betrayal. 

He nodded as he thought of what to say next. “After you looked for me.” 

Sam just took a series of deep breaths and glanced at the ground. 

“Did you look for me, Sam?”

Sam pursed his lips and turned his head. He couldn’t stand his older brother giving him that look. The look that accused without saying a word. The look that signaled a blow up. 

“Good. That’s good. Now, we - we always told each other  _ not  _ to look for each other. That’s smart. Good for you. Of course, we always ignored that because of our deep, abiding love for each other, but not this time, right, Sammy?”

Sam moved his head side to side, staring at the ground at his brother’s feet, searching for the right words. “Look, Dean, I’m still the same guy.”

“Well, kudos to you! I’m not.” 

Dean began to walk away, but stopped at his brother’s call. 

“Dean! Really, you’re just going to walk away? Has that really worked out for you, you know...historically speaking?” 

“You know, what Sammy?” Dean turned back around, a finger up, shoving it in Sam’s chest. “I had faith that my brother would come looking for me, because that’s what we always do. But you didn’t. No, you  _ ran _ away.” Then Dean realized something he should have asked, something he didn’t know why he hadn’t asked up to this point. “Where is she?”

Taken aback by the change in subject, Sam shook his head to rid any thoughts he was about to say. “What?”

“You heard me. Where is she?”

Sam’s expression dropped again, brows furrowed. He pursed his lips as his heart dropped into his stomach. It was the one question he dreaded Dean asking, because he knew how his brother would react to the answer. 

Dean leaned his head to one side, blinking. “Sammy. Where is she?”

“I - I don’t know.”

“You  _ what _ ?! What do you mean you don't know?” 

“After you disappeared, we went the same direction for a little while, then one day she just...left.”

“Did she say where she was going?”

Sam sighed. “No. She didn’t. Not even a note. I tried to track her, but she either turned off her GPS on her phones or ditched them all together.” 

“So you just let her become dust?”

Sam threw his arms in exasperation. “What was I supposed to do, Dean? She doesn’t want to be found! I’ve tried! If she wanted me to find her, she would let me! We both know that.”

“I can let go of the fact you didn’t look for me, but the fact that you didn’t watch after  _ her  _ is something else, Sammy.” Dean ran a hand down his face and shifted his weight. “Damn it…So for all you know, she could be dead. Or worse.” 

Sam didn’t respond. 

“Great. That’s just...great.” 

Dean turned away from his brother and walked out the door, slamming it shut behind him. Sam scoffed as Dean stormed away. 

“Welcome back,” he mumbled to the empty cabin around him. 

Later that night, Dean rummaged through a box of the phones they used. As he listened to voicemails, frustration rose at hearing the messages from Kevin Tran, the prophet. Someone who was also the boys’ responsibility. Sam felt a wave of guilt wash over him as he realized he had let Kevin down as well as...her. She was more important to Dean than Kevin, but he would never admit that to Sam...Or to himself. 

They managed to track down where Kevin’s last call was made from, so they packed up and headed out on the road again. 

But under Dean’s hard exterior, he was internally screaming. 

He had lost Cas. 

He had lost her. 

His brother hadn’t bothered looking for him. 

Kevin was AWOL. 

This wasn’t what he expected when he came back. And his anger rose behind those green eyes. He needed something to make sense, and at that moment, not much did. He had a mission, though, and that was to find Kevin Tran and protect him. As long as he held onto the mission, he could forget everything else for a little while. 

But in the back of his mind, he knew he needed to find her. If not for Kevin, she would be the number one priority, but he knew she wouldn’t want him to look for her when the prophet was potentially in danger. 

Find the prophet. Get him somewhere safe. 

Then he could look for her. He needed to look for her. And he needed to find her. 

Alive. 


	2. Chapter 2

Her phone rang as she brushed her teeth, and she silently cursed as she checked the number before flipping it open. 

“This is Codi,” she greeted through a mouthful of toothpaste.

“ _Hey. I have a question_.”

Codi spit out the toothpaste and rinsed the brush. “Harvey. What can I do for you? Wait, are you running?”

“ _Damn right I’m running!_ ”

“What’s chasing you?”

“ _I don’t know! Claws!_ ”

“That could be a number of things, Harv. You’ll have to be more specific.” Codi splashed some water on her face as she listened to Harvey running for his life. 

“ _You’re too calm!_ ”

“Let’s go, Harvey. You’re wasting precious minutes.” 

“ _Pale. Don’t know if there’s eyes. Lots of teeth! Shit!_ ”

“You okay?”

“ _Damn it, Codi, what’s chasing me_?!” 

“Does it feed on human flesh?”

“ _What do you think_?!”

“Are you in the woods?” She walked from the bathroom to the main area of the hotel room, sitting on the bed and dragging her shoes to her.

“ _Yes_!”

“That would be a Wendigo, mi amigo. Do you have fire available?” She put on her socks.

“ _Potentially_!”

“Gonna have to burn it, Harvey.”

She could hear the growls of the monster close behind her friend as she tugged boots onto her feet. 

“Harvey? You still there?”

“ _Hold on!_ ” he yelled, clear panic in his voice. 

Codi kept the phone pressed to her ear, and heard the distinct sound of a flamethrower meeting Wendigo flesh. The monster screamed as it went up in smoke and fire. 

An out-of-breath Harvey picked up his phone. “ _Okay. It’s gone_.”

“Good! Where’d you get a flamethrower?”

“ _You could tell that over the phone_?”

“I have experience with them.”

“ _Huh. Well...Came across one a few stops back. Figured it would come in handy. Turns out I was right._ ”

Codi nodded to herself. “Right. Well, glad you’re okay buddy. Over and out.”

“ _Yeah. Thanks, Codi_.”

She hung up and shoved the phone into the back pocket of her jeans. She found one of the few hair ties she still had and put her recently-dyed blue hair into a tight ponytail. Shrugging into a flannel that hid the sleeves of tattoos down her arms, she looked around the hotel room, making sure she had everything. 

“Shoving out…” she mumbled to herself. 

Codi threw her backpack into the passenger seat of the beat up Chevy truck she had stolen months ago and pulled out of the parking lot, another case in the wind. It wasn’t long till a phone rang again. She dug through her glove box till the ringing phone was found. 

“Agent Kennedy...Yes...No...Yeah, Duncan is one of ours...He was close...Could you put him on the phone, please?...What do you have?...” 

Codi had grown accustomed to picking up the slack with Bobby gone, Sam in Texas, and Dean being...gone. Every day was a reminder her boys weren’t with her anymore. Loneliness had crept in, but she shoved it down for the sake of the job and the other hunters that needed her help. According to some, she was the closest it came to still having the Winchesters around. She didn’t know if she should take it as a compliment or not. 

As Codi hung up, she turned the radio on to the nearest classic rock station and cranked the volume. 

The past year hadn’t been easy on her. She and Sam got in the car after Dean poofed to who-knows-where. Castiel was gone too. They weren’t sure what to do. 

“Well...what now?” she had asked Sam. 

He shook his head and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

They sat in a bar and threw back some heavy liquor, a numb sensation falling over them both. She only knew of one thing to do, but she wasn’t aware Sammy had other plans. They didn’t hunt or consult on other cases. They just drove from town to town, drifting with no real goal or destination. So, after realizing Sam had no intention to hunt, Codi packed in the middle of the night and hitchhiked till she made it to a fellow hunter’s door. She didn’t leave anything to let Sam know where she went, and she made sure to get rid of any phones she had used. Eventually her new contact information got out to the rest of the hunting community, and she became the new Bobby, although no one could truly replace that man. 

Codi only had one goal: find Dean. She spent months researching, asking around, and doing everything she could think of short of selling her soul, which was something not on the market. Everywhere she turned, she came up empty. Dean’s whereabouts were unknown. If he was even out there. For all she knew, he had been zapped to another reality. 

So she gave up. She had spent eight months trying to track down Dean only to end up where she started. It had been difficult to come to terms with the fact Dean couldn’t be found, but she had to move on. She already felt lost without the brothers by her side, and she was losing herself to the obsession of finding the hunter. Codi threw in the towel and decided to just hunt. 

But she kept tabs on Sam. He had found someone in Texas and they even had a dog. He was happy, living a normal life for once. Even though she could have used his help on some cases, she left him alone. The younger Winchester deserved a chance to live without running from monsters. She checked in on him every now and then, but overall she let him be.

* * *

Codi rolled into Minneapolis, Minnesota late into the evening, and sleep was calling after being on the road for hours. She found a cheaper hotel and rented a room, not bothering to take a shower once getting into the room. She threw her boots off and face planted into the pillows, sleep taking over quickly. 

The next morning, she dressed in uniform, tucking her FBI badge into her pocket and adjusting the wig on her head. Blue hair wasn’t really normal for the FBI, so adjustments were made. This new case was bound to be interesting. Someone’s heart had been taken from their chest, but no incisions were made. It had been ripped out. Codi naturally gravitated to it. 

She parked her beat up truck a few blocks away and walked to the local police department to get more information on the body found and the suspect behind it. However, as she got closer, a certain black car caught her eye, and she froze. 

“No…” she mumbled. 

She stared, still trying to work out if she was truly seeing what she thought. She blinked and shook her head and kept staring at the car. But then they walked out of the police station, and it was more than clear that her eyes weren't deceiving her. All breath seemed to abandon her as she stumbled back a few steps, and before they had the chance to see her, Codi ran back to her truck. 

"How is that possible! He's...At least I thought...No!" 

She dug her phone out of the glove box and made a few calls. "Hey! It's me! Uh...I need to confirm something I think I just saw."

The hunter on the other end of the line chuckled. " _Well that's a role reversal. What's up, Codi?_ " 

"Uh..."

" _You okay? You sound like you just saw Death himself._ "

"I might as well have."

" _Codi, what's going on?_ "

"I swear I just saw Dean Winchester."

" _No one's told you?_ "

"Told me what?"

" _Dean's back, Codi. Alive and well. He's been in Purgatory this entire year._ "

"Purgatory?!"

" _Yep. I'm really surprised no one told you, out of the entire hunting community._ "

"Yeah. Well...thanks." 

She immediately called the next contact just to have them confirm. Sure enough, Dean was back. If Dean was back, and Sam was with him, that either meant the girl Sam was living with was dead, or they were looking for Kevin Tran, picking up a few cases along the way. Codi remained in her truck, taking deep breaths to calm the shock running through her mind. 

"Well...Shit..." Codi swallowed and bit the tip of her tongue. "This is fine, right? He's back. That's what everyone wanted. It's totally fine..." 

But trying to convince herself of that was more difficult than she knew it should have been. Dean was one of the most important people in her life, and the reason behind the rising dread was warranted. Her phone rang, and the reason's name popped up on caller ID.

"Oh great," she mumbled. She took a deep breath as she answered her phone. "Hey!" She tried to sound happy, but it came across extremely fake. 

" _Uh, you okay?_ " the man on the other end asked. 

He would pick up on any lie she said. "Not so much."

" _What's wrong? Do you need help?_ "

"No, no, no. Nothing like that."

" _Then what is it?_ "

"Uh...Are you sitting down?"

" _Should I be? Babe, what is it?_ "

"It's Dean. He's back." 

Codi heard the phone drop to the ground, and she closed her eyes. Had she rebounded when Dean disappeared? Yes, but she didn't expect it to last this long. In fact, she had planned on leaving him after it had hit the one month mark, but she never did. Admitting to herself how happy she truly was had been one of the most difficult personal battles since dealing with Dean's disappearance. She had clung to the comfort this other hunter provided. It wasn't Dean, but she felt protected with him. 

She heard him pick the phone up again. " _You're sure it was him?_ "

"How could I mistake someone else for Dean? Besides, Sam was with him, the Impala is here...I even made a few calls just to make sure I wasn't seeing things. It's really him, Brian."

He was silent for a few moments. " _Well is this it?_ "

"I don't know." Depriving him of the truth would have been more cruel than the situation already was.

" _Have you talked to him yet?_ "

"No. He never saw me." She took a deep breath. "Was there a reason you called me?"

" _Uh. Y-yeah. There's a case up here in Maine. Are you anywhere close? I could use the help._ "

"I'm in Minnesota. But I could put you in contact with a hunter that usually stays in the New England area." She gave him the hunter's information and paused. Neither of them spoke, dead air hanging between the two. "Brian..."

" _Look, Codi, this is all just..._ "

"I know." She paused a moment. "I'll call you later, alright?"

" _Yeah. Okay._ " He hesitated before adding the next few words. " _I love you, Codi._ "

A few sudden tears spilled from her eyes. "I love you too, Brian."

She sank down in the driver's seat, staring out the windshield, a million emotions running through her. Waking up and finding Dean alive had not been on the day's agenda. But now what?


	3. Chapter 3

Codi followed them, although she kept her distance. Luckily neither brother knew she had blue hair, so it made it a little easier to stay hidden in the crowds. With each crime scene, she was there, spying, making sure Dean was okay. That Sam was adjusting to being on the road again, and it wasn't difficult to see the tension between the brothers. Unspoken words were never healthy when it came to Sam and Dean, but she wasn't there to make them talk this time. 

She had decided to stay out of sight for Dean's sake. If he wanted to find Kevin, to keep him safe, Codi couldn't be in the way of that. Remaining in the wind, a ghost, would help maximize the outcome. As well as keeping Brian a secret. She couldn't handle telling Dean there had been another man for the past seven months. At least not yet. She could already see the heartbreak in his eyes, his pursed lips, his furrowed brow. There would be one of two reactions. He would either blow up or he would let the anger fester, resulting in a cold shoulder, acting as if nothing had happened. Codi couldn't do that to him. 

Codi cheered from a distance while Sam and Dean investigated the organ donations of Brick Holmes, confident the boys would come to the same conclusion she had. She followed them when they traveled to Des Moines to continue the trail of this interesting case. Then Boulder. With each hotel the Winchesters stayed at, Codi would grab one on the other side of town or a few stops down, always keeping as much distance between them as possible. 

However, it was hard not to pay particularly close attention to Dean. Other than craving his touch, Codi noticed something new in those green eyes - something that hadn't been there a year before. He had been through so much in Purgatory. It was the only explanation for the added weight he carried. Dean had carried enough as it was. There was no need for anything additional, but it was there nonetheless. 

As the boys wrapped up the case on Brick Holmes, they hit the road again, and Codi was close behind. When the next hunt involved a college campus, Codi sighed. 

"Well this never ends up well..." she mumbled as she lingered among the crowd of college kids. 

An attack had gathered a large group, and the boys, flashing their FBI badges, stooped below the CAUTION tape, getting the briefing from the locals. Codi wore some aviator sunglasses, trying to mask herself from the man who would recognize her in an instant, electric blue hair or not. 

Dean looked up from the sheet-covered body, and his gaze just happened to settle on her. Her heart pounded, begging the heavens above that he didn't recognize her. His lips parted slightly, hope filling his eyes momentarily, but he shook his head, blinking, and followed Sam as they began to leave the scene. She sighed in relief and bit her bottom lip. Codi wanted more than anything to run to him, but she had Brian to think about. 

As the Winchesters met in their hotel room for research, Codi hit up a local library and began research of her own. Although she wouldn't share information, she still looked into the events, her own curiosity getting the best of her. She never would have guessed werewolf because of the cycle the moon was in, but that's exactly what it turned out to be. One night, while Sam and Dean met at a diner, Codi occupied a nearby booth, her back turned to the brothers. She could hear just enough to know they had come to the same conclusion. 

"Good job," she muttered under her breath, accompanied by a wide smile. 

It went on like that, case after case, staying just close enough to know where they were headed next. She would linger in crowds, sometimes wearing a wig to mask the memorable blue hair. But when she talked to Brian, she felt so ripped in two it was almost unbearable. 

" _What are you thinking of doing, Codi? We can't just play limbo like this._ "

She flopped back on the hotel bed and sighed, her phone tightly pressed to her ear. "I know. But I honestly don't know, Brian. You have to understand where I'm coming from."

" _No, I get it, babe. Trust me, I do. Dean wasn't, isn't, just any guy to you. I know it sounds selfish, but part of me just wishes he'd have stayed gone._ "

A small flame of irritation flickered in Brian's words. "Yeah..." She would give anything to be in her hunter's arms. Although...she wasn't sure which hunter. "I've had a long day, Brian. Could we talk later?"

Brian cleared his throat and ran a hand through his short black hair. " _Yeah. Sure. Goodnight_." The lack of his typical sign-off indicated a definite shift in relationship dynamics. 

"Goodnight."

As she ended the call, she sighed again and threw her phone across the mattress. She wanted to scream. Perhaps following the boys was a mistake, but she couldn't bear to think something bad happening to Dean and not being there to help. Especially since a certain angel was still MIA. She told herself it was for their sake, but it was as much for hers. She had never been great with confrontation, and she would be forced with a choice. Brian or Dean. 


	4. Chapter 4

Brian had been a hunter most of his life. His father was in the life, so Brian didn't have much of a choice in the matter. He grew up on the road, never going to school, and all he knew was monsters. He was familiar with most fellow hunters, but he had never met the Winchesters. All he knew were stories or first-hand recounts of hunting with the brothers. He heard enough to know Sam and Dean knew their stuff better than most. But when Dean Winchester disappeared, it sent a shock wave through the entire hunting community, and Brian never expected the third member of the Winchester hunting crew to end up with him.

Codi and Brian met on a vamp case in southern Michigan. They ended up rolling into town around the same time, and the first thing that caught his eye was the sleeves of tattoos down the woman's arms. Her platinum blonde hair was tied up in a tight ponytail and she kept ordering doubles. Tequila. With each drink she threw back, she wrote something in a notebook. 

"Hey," Brian greeted as he sat in the bar stool next to her. 

"I'm busy, meathead. Go bother someone else." 

He chuckled. "Well, what are you working on? Perhaps I can help?"

"Doubtful. Now please." She looked up and met his eyes. Those bright blues made his breath catch momentarily. "I'm not going to ask again."

"I don't think you ever technically asked."

She finished the drink in front of her and shot him a glare that could kill. "Look. I'm really not in the mood to be bothered. Now move, or I'll remove you myself." 

Brian lifted his hands in surrender and grinned, amusement dancing in his grey eyes. "Alright. I can see when I'm outmatched. You have a good night." 

She didn't tell him to have a good night or anything else. She just bit the tip of the pencil and stared at her notebook. When he glanced at the writing, he squinted a little, reading the words, recognizing the lingo. 

"Wait..." he began. 

"What did I just say, dude!" Her voice rose a little and a few barflies looked their direction. 

"Hang on, miss. Please." Brian pointed at the notebook. "Are you a hunter?" he asked, his voice hushed. 

Her eyes widened a little at the question, and he noticed her reach behind her back, most likely going for a concealed knife. 

"I am too," Brian said before she could hold the knife to his throat. "I'm here on a vamp case." 

The tension in her shoulders eased and she sighed. "Me too." She gestured to the seat next to her. "Well, might as well collaborate. Sit yourself down." 

Brian held out a hand. "I'm Brian Yoakam."

She took his hand and they shook. "Codi. Codi Trenton."

"I know that name..." He searched his mind, and the light bulb soon clicked on. "Didn't you use to run with the Winchesters?"

At the name, tension returned to her shoulders and she gestured to the bartender for another double. She immediately shot it down when it hit the bar in front of her. 

"Touchy subject?" Brian asked. 

"You could say that." Codi immediately changed topics. "What info do you have on the nest?"

They exchanged notes and devised a plan. The next night, the vamps were no longer a problem. Brian was hesitant to just let Codi leave without exchanging information in case there was ever anything the other needed. She hurriedly wrote her main line on a napkin and slid it over to him, and he did the same. 

"Well, thank you for the help, Brian. I'll see you around."

"Running out so soon?" The feisty huntress had definitely piqued his interest. But, above that, he really wanted to know what was eating away at her. She was in a lot of pain, and he wanted to help somehow. He just didn't have the courage to say it. 

She nodded, and stared at the ground between them. "Yeah. I don't stay in one place too long. I have a lot to do, ya know?" 

"I get it. Always another case out there, right?"

Codi fell silent, a far off look in her eye. "Something like that." She began to walk away, and he found an inkling of confidence to ask what he had been wanting to. 

"What happened to them?" he called after her.

And the tension in her shoulders returned. Codi didn't need context. She knew what the question was in reference to. Without turning around, she answered him. Sort of. "Wanna go for a drive?"

Brian stepped into the passenger seat of the truck she drove and they rolled out, ending up on a dirt road somewhere out of town. She parked at the gate of a field and turned the engine off, staring at the steering wheel for a long time. 

"Look, if you don't want to tell me anything, you don't have to," Brian said, giving her a reason to back out. 

Codi shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. "No. I need to talk to someone about it. You're as good as anyone, I guess."

"Thanks, I guess..." Brian chuckled softly at the backhanded compliment. 

She took a deep breath and slammed her head against the headrest of the seat. "I've known the brothers for a long time. They stepped in and saved me when a hunt went horribly, horribly wrong. Let's just say I was moments away from becoming a vamp's next meal. I was more than thankful to see hunters storm through that warehouse door. Well they got me cleaned up, and I went back on my own, but we kept running into each other after that. Pretty soon we were on the road together."

Codi paused, fighting tears away. She would not let a practical stranger see her cry. 

"What happened?" Brian gently asked. Seeing her this upset pulled at his heart, a natural instinct to comfort kicking in. 

"That was around...seven years ago, I guess. We've known each other a long time." Codi shifted her gaze momentarily to look at Brian. "Did you hear about the Leviathan situation a few months back?" 

Brian nodded. "Yeah. I don't know a hunter who didn't hear about it."

"Right. Well, like always, those brothers were in the middle of it. That's how Bobby..." She swallowed, not able to finish the sentence. "Well, you know. Anyway, our only goal was to send Dick Roman straight back where he came from. And we did. But...it came at a cost." Codi tore her eyes away from Brian and stared out the windshield. "Dean, he...disappeared. When that Leviathan exploded, it tore Dean from earth, and I have no idea where he is. Castiel disappeared too. Sam is in Texas, happy. He stopped hunting. So now it - it's just me. Alone." She paused again, licking her lips. "Dean was more than just my friend."

"So he was like a brother?"

She smiled, but not from happiness. If anything, it was anger and mourning rolled into one. "Not quite. Dean and I...We uh..."

"You were together," Brian finished for her. 

"Yeah," she whispered, noticeable tears running down her pale cheeks. "I've been looking for him ever since. Any possibility, no stone un-turned, the whole nine. That's what I was working in the bar that night. It wasn't the vamp case. I've been trying any possibility just to find Dean, to bring him back. For Sam, for me. If I find him, then I find Castiel, and we can all just be our weird family again. But so far..."

"There's nothing." 

"Right."

Brian stared at her, one question rolling through his mind. "Why are you trusting me with this?"

"Like I said. I'm alone. You're as good as anyone." She ran her hand over her cheeks, brushing the tears away. "And you came through today." 

"Codi, I don't know how much help I'll be, but I can help. If you want it." She turned him down that night.

But, the two hunters met again a few weeks later. After that, Codi decided working with someone was better than running the road alone, so she and Brian became a team. Pretty soon, she attached to him, needing someone to hold her together, and Brian became her comfort. His arms held her through nights of breakdowns, his calloused hands wiped away her tears. He was gentle, which wouldn't be expected just by looking at the 6'3" lumberjack. Even though it ate a hole through his heart, he helped her with research to track down Dean. 

When Codi gave up and decided to stop looking for the Winchester, Brian internally sighed in relief. He didn't have to share her with anyone anymore. 

Then, mere months after leaving Dean to rest, it was made known that Dean was alive, back from a year in Purgatory. Codi went to help out a friend on a case, leaving Brian to drive across the country to another case. When Codi informed him of Dean, Brian had dropped the phone in shock, startled at hearing the words. The news didn't get easier as the days passed, and when Codi said she was following the brothers, every inch of Brian wanted to tell Codi to give it up, to snap out of it, and just come back to him. It was a distraction, and now his hunts were suffering because of it. He wasn't focused. 

Brian wanted more than anything to just have Codi to himself. He loved her too much. He didn't want to share her with someone else. Although, logically, he knew how Codi was feeling. The man she loved so deeply was suddenly back from the dead, and she had already given her heart to someone else. Brian knew he was the rebound, but he didn't care. She had stayed with him this long, and he knew she wasn't faking how she felt about him. 

Each phone call was harder and harder for him to make. Every time he heard Codi's voice, it took all his strength not to drive to whatever town she was in, scoop her into his truck, and drive away. He loved her. Every inch of her. Every dark place in her mind. He loved the crinkle of her nose when she truly laughed. He loved how driven she was to help people in need, how compassionate she was with victim's family members and friends. He loved how she would run her fingers through his hair to calm his nightmares. He loved how she would accidentally elbow him in the middle of the night as she adjusted the blankets. 

And he knew Dean probably loved all those things as well. 

Brian never expected to be in this position. He never expected Dean to magically return, and neither did Codi. No one did. Not a single hunter thought Dean Winchester would return, and the fact he had was both amazing for the community and devastating for Brian. He had given Codi the choice. Brian or Dean. He wouldn't hold anything against her if she chose Dean. Although Brian prayed she would choose him over her previous lover. 

But he had to be realistic. When it came down to it, Codi had already chosen Dean. She just didn't know it yet.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam kept replaying his past year with Amelia - that life had been perfect. He had gotten a taste of a normalcy, and he wanted it back. Amelia had provided a stability, a predictability, he had never known before. Even in college, Sam had never felt like he was truly out of the life, but there was something about what he had with Amelia. Despite his past, Sam felt perfectly safe and perfectly happy with working a normal 9 to 5 job and coming home to a beautiful woman. Sam kicked himself sometimes as he and Dean continued looking for Kevin. He should have known better than to get comfortable. He should have known that his good thing would come to an end. He had told Dean that after this Kevin thing was over that he was done, although, deep down, he knew that would never happen. He knew he would end up choosing his brother again when it came down to the nitty gritty. Or life would choose for him.

Sam sat in the cabin, laptop open, perusing the Internet, on the look for anything suspicious that might lead them to Kevin or Crowley. When his brother walked through the door, he turned toward the sound of the door opening. 

"Hey," he greeted, a beer at his lips. 

“Hey,” Dean returned. 

Sam picked up on his brother's distracted tone. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good." Dean shook his head and walked to the fridge to put away the newly bought beer. "Find anything?”

“Well, this kid went missing from a preschool.” 

Dean cleared his throat as he removed the light jacket he always wore. “And?”

“And at the same time he vanished,” Sam continued, “a surprise tornado hit. It lasted, maybe, 15 or 20 seconds, than bam. Back to normal weather. And, similar wackiness has happened over the past few weeks in other places…”

As the brothers discussed the obvious demon signs, they packed up and hit the road, taking on the trail Crowley's demons did a terrible job of hiding. 

The brothers stopped at a hotel for the night, and Dean was sitting on his bed, looking things up on his laptop, reading up on the case. Thunder rumbled through the skies, and he looked up to glance out the window as lightning flashed. A figure was illuminated by the flashes of lightning. His jaw dropped, just slightly, at the being he saw standing outside, and it felt like his heart stopped for a moment. Immediately closing his laptop, he rushed to cross the room and look out the window. 

But they were gone. 

Lightning flashed and the crash of thunder followed, but they didn't appear again. Dean blinked, shaking his head. Maybe he was going crazy. 

Either Dean’s movement in the room or the thunder woke Sam from sleep, and he threw back the covers and stood, joining his brother at the window. 

“Dean?” 

Dean turned toward the voice. 

“What’s going on. Are you all right?”

Dean’s eyes searched the window, still rattled from what he thought he saw. His voice was low as he answered Sam’s inquiry. “I don’t know. I thought I saw something.”

“Uh, you saw what?”

“Codi.” 

“Codi? Where?” Sam looked out the window, trying to see her as well.

“Right there.” He nodded toward the window, his eyes still a little wide, sadness beginning to creep in. Lightning flashed once more, quickly followed by booms of thunder. 

"Are you sure it was Codi?"

"Well if wasn't her, then it was someone who looked exactly like her." Dean pursed his lips. "And - and I swear I've been seeing her at every town we've hit. Only glimpses and only for a moment, but in every crowd, I swear she's there. I don't know, man, maybe I'm just going crazy. Maybe I just miss her so damn much that..." Dean couldn't finish his sentence. "You know, I've been trying to focus so hard on finding Kevin and making sure he's safe. You think my head is just messing with me? Planting her everywhere we go? Making me think I'm seeing her?"

Sam shrugged. "Dude, I don't know. I guess it's possible. I mean, unless she's following us, which..." He sighed. "Codi's smart. She could be. But, as far as we know, she doesn't even know you're alive." 

"Right." Dean paused, trying to decide if the next sentence was worth saying. He said it anyway. “And - and earlier on the road, I thought I saw Cas.”

“Cas? That’s...not possible. I mean, you said it yourself he didn't make it out.” 

Dean’s jaw became rigid at the thought of leaving Cas back in Purgatory. He shook his head and closed his eyes. He was so angry with himself for not being able to get his friend back. “I tried so damn hard to get us the hell out of there.” Dean turned back toward the room. 

“I know you did,” Sam replied. 

“You know, I could have pulled him out. I just don’t understand why he didn’t try harder.”

“Dean. You did everything you could.”

“Yeah, but why do I feel like crap?” He took a deep breath and pursed his lips. 

“Survivor’s guilt? If you let it, this is going to keep messing with you. You got to walk past it.”

Dean nodded, looking past Sam, and silence fell. 

“Just try to forget it, Dean.” 

“It’s Codi, man. And it’s Cas. I can’t just forget about it.”

“No, I mean…” Sam sighed. “Just... try and get some sleep, okay?”

Sam clapped Dean on the shoulder and walked to the bathroom. Dean stood in the middle of the room, hands on his hips, and biting his lower lip. Not knowing Codi’s whereabouts stressed him out more than not knowing where Kevin was. If he was seeing Cas, he hoped the angel had gotten out and it wasn’t just Dean’s imagination playing tricks. Either way the hunter needed a shot of whiskey, and he wouldn’t get it that night. As the storm outside played on, he tried to get some sleep, praying to someone that the angel was alive and that Codi was truly the one he had seen outside the window.

Dean lied on his bed, but he stared at the ceiling unable to sleep. Thoughts of Codi kept him awake. He had been excited to finally be in her arms again, to have her chase away his nightmares. If he knew where she was, he would drop everything to find her. Screw to whole Kevin situation. When it came down to it, Codi was the biggest priority in his life. When they first got together, it had taken a period of adjustment. He was so worried he was going to ruin everything, that he was a curse to everyone he touched. But her reassurance calmed his fears. And she proved to him that she wasn't going anywhere and they would be okay no matter what was thrown their way. 

Codi was his saving grace. On his darkest days, Codi could force light back into him and he would feel a little more whole. She was his everything. She belonged to him, and all he wanted was to hold her, to feel her small body pressed against his, her hair tickling his nose. He begged whoever was listening to bring Codi back to him. The likelihood of her not knowing he was even back was high, and it killed him. Dean wanted to scream just for the chance Codi would hear him and come running back to him. Enough hunters knew he was alive, so why hadn't anyone told her? 

Dean's biggest fear echoed the loudest, though. 

What if she was dead? No one could call her, no one could tell her that Dean was alive if she were dead. 

As he stared at the ceiling, arms crossed over his black t-shirt, he let himself silently cry. His girl was missing. The love of his life. 

His best friend was still in Purgatory, and he was most likely dead as well. 

Dean wasn't one to normally cry, but he couldn't hold it back any longer. He wanted the two missing people of his family back more than he'd wanted anything in his entire life. And it was killing him. 


	6. Chapter 6

When Castiel returned, it was nothing short of a miracle. Dean was suspicious of how his friend escaped the hellhole of Purgatory, but he would question it further at a later date. At the moment, they simply needed Cas's help. Saving Kevin, getting the demon tablet, was top priority. Finding Kevin was the easier part of the equation. Getting him and the tablet out of Crowley's clutches was something else altogether. 

Like everything else they hunted, Crowley had set up shop in a warehouse, demons patrolling, guarding Kevin. Putting an entirely life-threatening situation into the simplest terms, Castiel managed to get half of the tablet and Kevin out. But it took a lot of angel juice, and Cas was running on empty after the altercation. 

Soon after his reappearance, Cas pulled another disappearing act, frustrating the hell out of Dean. When Kevin deciphered the tablet enough to reveal the trials, it set up the next mission for the brothers. Seal the gates of Hell. Forever. Dean just wasn't expecting his brother to be the one to undergo the trials, and he was uneasy about it. But having a home to go back to was one of the best things that had happened in a long time. The bunker didn't come soon enough, and they had an arsenal of lore, weapons, etc. to map through. 

As Dean cooked up some lunch for him and Sam, the younger brother ventured into the kitchen and sat at the table, his laptop open in front of him. 

"How you holdin' up, man?" Dean asked. "You know. Trial-wise."

Sam nodded and typed away at his computer. "Generally speaking, I'm doing okay."

Dean eyed him but didn't push the issue. "That's good." 

"How are you?"

"Me? Why?" Dean flipped the burgers in front of him. 

"Come on, Dean. It's not like your life hasn't been...well, hell since you got back. With Cas and..."

"Codi?" Dean didn't look back at Sam, afraid his brother would see the pure agony in his expression. "All things considered, I'm doing pretty swell." 

"Really? You-you're swell? Dude, your best friend is AWOL. Again. And Codi is...who knows where?"

"Yeah. Why doesn't anyone know where she is, Sammy? I mean, we-we've called Garth, Harvey, and a shit ton of other people. No one knows where she is. Or where she was last! Why is that?"

Sam shook his head, perplexed. "I don't know. Maybe she just wants to stay hidden."

"But why? It makes zero sense." Dean sighed and sipped at the beer in his hand. "I just...I want her back. You know, Cas was back, which I still don't get. Codi should have been back before him. Maybe I'm not thinking straight, but..." 

"No, I get it. I miss her too. She's like a sister to me. When she took off, it hurt, but maybe she needed to deal with the whole...you being gone and Cas going with you stuff on her own. I never expected her to never talk to me again." 

"You ever think its because you were out?"

"Out of the life?"

Dean nodded, taking another swig. "Yeah."

Sam shrugged. "I guess. I-if she even knew that I was."

"It's Codi, man. She somehow always finds out stuff. And that's something she probably knew." Dean placed the burger patties onto buns and handed Sammy his plate. Dean sat at the table with his brother. "She just needs to come out of hiding now. If she can..."

Sam didn't need clarification. He knew Dean's fear of Codi being in a ditch somewhere. In all honesty, Sam had the same fear. After running together for 7 years, it's hard to just say goodbye and not look back. Surely Codi hadn't done that. If she was gone, it was for a damn good reason. 

* * *

She sat in her truck staring at the bunker through binoculars. They hadn't come out for a few days. Part of her was worried something had happened in there, but she hadn't gotten the feeling she usually did when someone was dead. Soon, though, her boys appeared carrying duffle bags. They were headed out again. She started the truck up and lurked several miles back. Then her phone rang. 

"Damn it..." she mumbled. She answered. "Hello. This is Codi."

" _Where are you?_ " 

"Hello to you too, Brian." She heard the tension in his words, though. "Baby, where are you? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

" _I'm in a real bad way, Codi. I need help. Where are you at?_ " 

"I'm in Kansas. Lebanon. Brian, where are you?!" She pulled over, leaving the Winchesters to pull away from her. Once again she felt her heart being ripped two ways. "Brian!" 

He took a ragged breath. " _I-I'm not far from you. Burr Oak._ "

Codi swung the truck around and floored the gas pedal. "Brian. Where exactly are you?! I'll be there as soon as I can. Just tell me where you are."

" _White Rock Creek. Please, baby. I messed up._ " Brian moaned in pain. 

"What were you hunting?"

" _Wraith. I managed to get away, but...Please. I need help._ "

"I'm on my way, okay? I'm on my way. Don't hang up on me, Brian. Damn it, stay with me." 

Codi sped, and although the gas pedal was to the ground, she begged the truck to move faster. As she drove, she tracked the GPS on Brian's phone to get his exact location. Within a heartbeat, her priorities shifted. In truth, she had ignored Brian's requests for her to come back to him. She felt her energy being drawn to Dean like a magnet, but hearing Brian in distress? It flipped a switch. She couldn't abandon him to die. She couldn't do that to anyone. 

When she finally arrived in the small town of Burr Oak, she sped through the streets till stopping on the one closest to Brian's location, and she abandoned the truck on the side of the road as she ran to find the hunter.

"Brian!" she called as she neared his location. "Brian?!" 

"Codi!" A faint reply. Losing strength. "Baby!" 

She ran through tall grass and came across an old wooden bridge. There he was, sitting against it, holding his side. 

"Brian!" 

Codi ran to him. But as she approached, she noticed the lack of something that would require the hunter to sound distressed. There was no blood. No injury. She stopped dead in her tracks and stared at him. Brian swallowed and stood up, staring back at her. A storm brewed in his grey eyes, and she knew he was angry. 

"You fucking liar..." she mumbled, her own anger rising in her chest. "Why the hell..." 

"Because you wouldn't come any other way. You've been too preoccupied with Dean Winchester to pay me any attention."

"You're jealous?! That's all this is?!" 

Brian approached her and took her wrist in his large hand, stroking the edge of one of her tattoos. He sighed, trying to shove down the rage. "Damn it, Codi. Yes. I'm jealous. Do you really think I wouldn't be? You've been ignoring my calls, only following him...I've needed you on cases. I've needed _you._ "

Codi had no answer. She knew, whole well, that she had been ignoring him. Not much had distracted her from following Dean. Even when she knew he was alright, that he didn't need her help getting Kevin out of that warehouse. That he didn't need her. He was dealing just fine with being back. He even had Cas again. Dean's return had gone swimmingly. So why was she still following him? 

"Look, Codi, I know you love him." 

She snapped her attention back up at the man in front of her. 

"But I love you, Codi. And I used to think that you love me too."

"I do, Brian..."

"If that's true, then you wouldn't be treating me like this. We both know you needed someone to hold onto, and I happened to become that person. You never wanted to admit it, but you were in so much pain, so much grief, that you would have latched onto anything or anyone. I was just in the right place at the right time." 

"Brian -"

"I'm not saying I didn't encourage it. I wanted you. I still do. But I'm beginning to think you don't want me." 

Codi rested a hand on Brian's chest. "That's not true."

"Isn't it though? You spend all your time tailing those two and don't even answer the phone when I call. I have to pretend that I've been attacked for you to pay me any attention! How messed up is that?!" 

"You think this is easy for me?!" Codi turned and began to pace in front of the hunter. "I didn't expect to fall in love after Dean disappeared. And I sure as hell didn't expect him to come back. I was his girlfriend for 3 years. I've been yours for almost 9 months. And..." Her hands dropped to her sides. "I love you both. This is killing me."

Brian stared at her. His heart had shattered into a million pieces, and no amount of explanation could tape it back together. The woman in front of him had faded away, and she would never admit it. 

"Why don't you just go to him?" 

"Brian." 

He raised his hands in surrender. "He's won. We both know it. He will always win because I was only glue that tried putting you back together. He's cement. If he's what you want, why don't you just...get it over with? That's why you haven't let him see you. Isn't it? Because of me." 

Codi felt herself close to tears. She tried to convince herself that she still cared for Brian just as much as she did Dean, but it was no longer true. Sure, when Dean first reappeared, she felt an overwhelming sense of loyalty to both men, but Brian's importance had slowly diminished. Brian had been there during the most difficult months of her life. He had pulled her out of complete darkness. He had been her saving grace. Her life preserver. 

How could she let him go? 

But she already had. As soon as she saw Dean for the first time. She let Brian drift far away because she had back what she had been longing for. 

Brian sighed and wrapped Codi in a tight, crushing embrace. He wanted to hold her forever. But he was letting her go. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered into his chest as she grabbed fistfuls of his shirt. "I never expected..."

"Neither did I." He closed his eyes and kissed the top of her head. "But I'm not competing. And I can't. Not with Dean." 

Codi felt the first tear fall and she squeezed her eyes shut, burying her head in Brian's chest as he pulled her tighter against him. His chest ached and he replayed all his favorite memories of the woman he held in his arms. 

She had a habit of stealing his shirts and more ended up in her bag than his. French fry fights in the truck headed to a case. The newest installment of her tattoos, and he was glad he knew of one that Dean didn't. The smell of her hair just after a shower. Her small body pressed to his first thing in the morning before hitting the road again. Every little thing flooded his memory. He knew he would miss this, all of it, but he had to do the right thing. He couldn't keep her in a relationship that her heart was no longer in. 

"Hey," he said as he forced himself to unwrap his arms from her frame. "I'll still call if there's something I need help with. Alright?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Don't be a stranger." She tried to laugh on the last words, but it was too forced and sounded more like a strange sigh. 

"Go get him, Codi. If you mean even a hint to him what you do to me, he's craving you right now. Don't make him wait a second longer." 

She nodded to herself and bit her bottom lip. "Right." Codi reached up and cupped Brian's cheek. "Goodbye." She placed a small kiss on his jaw, turned her back, and walked away. The hunter stood there watching her leave. He took a deep breath and dropped his gaze to the ground as she disappeared. 

"Damn it..." he mumbled. 

He found the nearest bar and tried to drink her away. But Codi Trenton would stay in his memory for years. That woman was like an addiction, and every time he had to call her, he relapsed. 


	7. Chapter 7

Codi sat in the bed of her truck, a beautiful lake in front of her. Pine trees rose all around and birds flitted through the skies, chirping and calling out what territory belonged to who. Branches broke throughout the woods as large mammals roamed, most likely a moose or deer. But Codi didn't care about all that. She held a bottle of tequila and tipped it back, the alcohol burning down to her stomach. Tears had been running down her cheeks for the better part of an hour and there was no stopping in sight. 

After telling Brian goodbye, she felt the snap of a string she wasn't aware of. She had been tied to Brian for all the wrong reasons, something she was just seeing. She wanted someone to put her back together again, to fix her and all the wrong that had happened in her life. Brian came along, took interest in her problems, and she latched on. It wasn't fair to him. Or to herself. It was a bandaid that would eventually fall off, revealing the deeper wounds underneath. Which was exactly what happened. 

The deep longing for Dean had been hidden by a temporary fix. She wanted her life back with him more than she had ever wanted anything. More than she wanted to live a normal life somehow. Her constants had been Sam and Dean for almost a decade. She realized now that severing ties with Sam had been more detrimental than it would have to keep in contact. She had essentially left her brother behind. 

"Come on, Codi..." she mumbled as she wiped at the tears. "Get yourself together. This isn't helping anyone." 

She had full permission to go find Dean. She just needed to do it.

As an eagle flew over head, she threw down the bottle of tequila and it shattered. She slammed the tailgate of the truck closed and hurriedly scrambled into the driver's seat, shoving her keys into the ignition, and roared away from the tranquility of the lake. 

"I'm coming for you..." 

Codi left behind a trail of exhaust as she sped from where she had run to. Instead of immediately going to find Dean after she and Brian called it quits, she ran away. Again. Montana had happened to be where she stopped, the flashing sign of a liquor store a silent beacon. She couldn't run anymore. 

* * *

Codi rolled up to the bunker's door.

The Impala was back. The boys must be as well. Her hands shook as she stared at the structure, nerves rattling every ounce of courage she had. This shouldn't be a huge deal, but she had been gone for the months that Dean had been back. She knew he would ask for an explanation, and she didn't want to tell him the truth. About Brian. She swallowed and opened the truck door, closing it as quietly as she could. 

As she approached the door of the bunker, she wiped her hands on her jeans, sweat beginning to exude from every pore. 

"Just knock, Codi. Just freaking knock." 

She raised her fist, but hesitated. Swallowing one more time, she knocked in triplicate. 

As she waited, she chewed on her bottom lip, a habit she had tried numerous times to break but always failed. 

Eventually she heard the large door being heaved open and the barrel of a 1911 peaked around the corner. But it practically fell to the ground when the green-eyed hunter saw who was standing outside the bunker. 

"C-Codi?" he stammered, eyes wide. At first, he thought he was seeing things. Or a ghost. Or something other than the one person he so desperately needed. He almost shoved her back, but he didn't. Instead, he waited for her to speak, to say anything! His eyes skimmed her from head to toe. Damn, it sure looked like Codi. 

Tears jumped to her eyes and she smiled bigger than she had in over a year. "Hi," was all she could manage to say. 

Dean somehow managed to shove his gun into the back of his jeans before crushing the woman against him, squeezing his eyes shut, burying is face in the side of her head. Codi inhaled his familiar scent and reveled in how his arms felt like home. Although she was flush to his body, everything in her ached to be closer to him somehow. Dean began walking backwards to let the door fall closed, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and legs around his waist, clinging to him like a koala. 

Dean didn't dare let her go. Didn't dare speak for the possibility of her vanishing. 

"Dean?" a concerned voice rose from downstairs. "Is everything okay?" 

But neither of them heard Sam. 

Codi raised her head from nuzzling the crook of Dean's neck and stared into the eyes of the man she had missed so much. With the look of shock and disbelief still across his face, he cupped the back of her head and pressed a kiss to her lips, passionately. Damn, he had missed the taste of her, the feel of her body. Everything. 

"Dean?!" Sam called again. 

This time it broke the two from their trance. Codi dropped from Dean's waist but didn't dare break eye contact. 

The sound of feet on metal announced Sam's approach. "Dean, are you oka -" He froze mid-word as he saw Codi in the doorway. "Codi?" The younger brother ran the rest of the way and wrapped her in a tight hug, relief flooding through his system. "Holy crap," he mumbled. "We thought you might be dead..."

She didn't respond as she cried into Sam's shirt. She had missed both of them more than she ever realized. 

Eventually the trio made it back downstairs. Dean hadn't spoken a word, but when Sam dismissed himself so he could take a shower, the older brother took charge of the room. 

"Where the hell have you been?" he asked, but his tone was soft, pure. 

She didn't meet his eyes. "It's a long story." 

He crossed to her in what seemed like less than a second and crashed his mouth to hers. "Damn it, baby, I missed you." 

Codi separated just enough to see the tears falling from his eyes, and she wiped them away. "I'm right here. I'm never leaving. Never." 

She tiptoed to kiss him again, longing for the taste of his lips, for his hands to entangle themselves in her hair. Just...him. For the first time in over a year, she finally felt like she was home. 

Dean reached down and picked her up behind the knees, carrying her bridal style down the hall and to his room, slamming the door shut. He gently set her on the bed, staring into her blue eyes. He somehow kept himself from crying, although he felt on the brink of tears. He had never been so flooded with relief. Codi was in his arms again. "Welcome home, baby." 

He met her lips again in a heated kiss, fumbling for the hem of her shirt, pressing kisses to her jaw, her neck, and down her chest once her shirt was flung to the floor. When he raised up on his elbows, his eyes met with the something he hadn't seen before. A black tattoo had been etched across the area beneath her breasts. He traced it with his fingertips before peppering the area with kisses. 

Dean had rarely used the words 'make love' in his life, but that night, nothing else in the universe could describe what took place. 


	8. Chapter 8

Dean couldn't stop staring at her. 

She had fallen asleep hours earlier, curled into him with her head on his bare chest, their legs a tangled mess. But he watched her, afraid she might disappear. He caressed her shoulder, holding her close. He wanted to know where she'd been, but that mess could wait. His eyes traced every inch of her face: the slight pout of her lips as she slept, the spray of freckles over her nose, the sharp edge of her cheekbones. He grinned at the bright blue of her hair, remembering how she had always wanted to do something crazy with the naturally platinum blonde locks. He followed the tattoo sleeve of her right arm, the black ink winding down to the inside of her wrist where he knew the anti-possession symbol was etched. 

He sighed, content to have his woman back in his arms, and he closed his eyes, a release of stress following his exhale. She nuzzled in closer to him, and he grinned. Damn it, she was back. His greatest fear - that Codi had been killed - was the furthest thing from the truth. And he had never been so relieved in his life. 

* * *

When Codi opened her eyes in the early morning hours, she couldn't help but smile. She traced the contours of Dean's chest with her finger and nuzzled in closer to his side as she waited for him to wake up. When his grip shifted ever-so slightly on her waist, she shifted her gaze to look at his face and watched as his eyes fluttered open to reveal beautiful green irises. An instant happiness flooded over him, and he caressed her cheek, smiling at her. 

"Good morning," she whispered, returning the joy he was emitting. 

"It is definitely a good morning." 

Codi propped herself up on her elbow and gently kissed Dean's slightly chapped lips. 

"Damn, it's good to have you home, Codi. Like you wouldn't believe." 

She returned to her previous position and Dean gently glided his hand over her skin. "It's good to be home," she murmured. 

They remained in bed for the better part of the morning till Dean admitted how hungry he was, and they got dressed. Codi slid a pair of Dean's sweatpants over her hips and grabbed one of his old band tee's. They walked hand-in-hand to the kitchen where Sammy was already cooking breakfast. Dean poured him and Codi coffee while waiting for breakfast be ready. 

Sam stepped away from the stove top long enough to wrap Codi in another tight hug, quickly pressing a kiss to the top of her head. 

"Hey there, little brother," Codi greeted. "Or...not-so-little brother?" 

Sam chuckled and released her, letting Dean attach himself once more. The older Winchester stepped up behind her, and wrapped his arms around Codi's waist, dropping his face into the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent again. Codi closed her eyes, reveling in Dean's touch, and the affectionate side rarely seen by anyone else. 

After a quick breakfast and at least 2 cups of coffee each, Dean had to ask the hard question everyone avoided. 

"So, Codi," he began, quickly licking his lips in apprehension. "Where have you been this past year? Sammy told me you sorta split." 

She swallowed and stared at the coffee cup in her hands. "Yeah. Well, I kind of figured out that you weren't going to hunt anymore, Sam, so I decided to let you do what you needed to. I had to keep doing something. Feel like I was...I don't know, helping. So I left to keep hunting." Codi paused, taking a sip of coffee. "And to find Dean." 

Sam stared, his brows furrowed. "Wait, you were looking for Dean the past year?" 

Codi nodded. "For the better part of it, yes."

"You didn't feel a need to involve me?"

Codi narrowed her eyes as she looked up at Sam. "You were happy, Sammy. You found someone. I wasn't going to interrupt that to drag you back into a life you always wanted out of." 

Sam's expression eased up and Codi continued. 

"Anyway. I tried everything I could think of short of selling my soul." She met Dean's eyes, and his expression hardened at the mention of selling her soul. "Which, I didn't. I promise. But..." She cleared her throat. 

"But...what?" Dean pressed. 

Codi sighed, running her fingers through her hair, weighing if sharing Brian's existence was a good idea or not. She feared if they ever ran into him that Dean would throttle him. 

"Codi," Dean said, interrupting her inner discussion. "What?" 

She tore her eyes away from the man she loved so much and stared at her coffee cup instead. "I..." she began. Her throat was suddenly dry and she sipped from her coffee again. "I ran the road with someone." 

"Really? Who was it?" Dean's tone was curious, but she knew jealousy would erupt the second a man's name escaped her lips. 

"We never met him. Although he knew about you two." 

"Wait, 'he'? It was a dude?" Dean questioned. He sat up straighter, pushing his mug away from him, crossing his arms. The tone is eyes definitely shifted. 

"Y-yes..." Codi hesitated. "His name was Brian Yoakam." 

"Uh-huh." 

Codi watched as the tension rose in Dean's jaw, rising to his neck, his eyes. The unmistakable look of jealousy. "He helped me look for you for...gosh...8 months? Thereabouts. Until we just couldn't find anything. Nothing. I mean, I looked for you everywhere, Dean. I even summoned Crowley to ask if you were in Hell. I couldn't really contact Cas, since he had disappeared right along with you. So I didn't know if you were in heaven. For all I knew, you were in another reality or..." Codi shook her head. "I tried. Everything I could think of. But I couldn't find you." 

"Tell me this, Codi." Dean shifted to rest his elbows on the table.

She closed her eyes, knowing what those words meant, what his tone implied. He was getting angry. 

"How long have you known that I'm alive?" 

She didn't say anything. 

"Codi. Answer me." 

She hesitated just long enough for Dean to know before she verbally confirmed. "Since Minnesota. Brick Holmes." 

"That was _months_ ago! And you just decided to pop in now?! What's been the hold up?" But he didn't wait for an answer, already knowing. "It was this Brian fellow, wasn't it?" Dean ran a hand down his face and stood from the table. "That's just great. How long were you going to let this go on, Codi? Keep him a secret? That you couldn't come back because of him? Is that it? You couldn't come back because of him?"

"Because I knew that this was how you'd react, Dean," she answered as calmly as she could.

"Oh, so it's true then." He had come to the conclusion by himself, not needing her to say anything. "You were bangin' some other guy while I was stuck in Purgatory, begging that I could come home to _you_ and Sam." 

"Dean-" Sam began, but was cut off by his brother.

"But no. I get to wonder where the hell you were for months. Months! All I wanted to know was that you were alive!" He paused. "Were you following us?" 

Codi looked up at him at the question, her eyes wide, mouth slightly agape. 

"Codi. I swear. Were you following us?" Dean turned his head so he was looking at her almost out of the corner of his eye. His chin was tilted up slightly and his hands were balled into fists. 

"Yes," she managed to whisper. 

"Son of a bitch..." he mumbled, closing his eyes and dropping his head. Dean walked out of the kitchen, and the audible jingle of car keys echoed down the hall. 

Codi stood, beginning to follow him, but Sam caught her wrist. 

"Don't," he said. "You know Dean. He needs a little time."

"I can't just...This is my fault. If I had just..."

"I know. I know. But you can't change it now. I'm sure you felt like you were doing the right thing, and maybe you were." 

Codi sat back down as Sam talked. 

"Maybe he would have reacted worse back then. Who knows." Sam sipped from his own coffee. "I, for one, understand why you did it. But...Dean's been silently begging for you ever since he got back. He was mad at me for not watching you while he was missing. He got over that. He'll get over this." 

She nodded. "I hope you're right." Codi met Sam's kind hazel eyes and gave a small grin. "I hope you're not mad at me for...practically abandoning you." 

Sam shook his head. "Not in the slightest. You did what you needed to do." He paused a moment. "And thank you. For letting me...ya know, be normal for once. It means a lot." 

"I couldn't interrupt what you had. It was so special. I'm sorry that you were pulled back anyway."

"It's for the best. Some..." Sam took a deep breath. "Some complications arose."

"What happened?"

"Well...Amelia thought her husband had died overseas. He's a soldier. She had gotten an official notification and everything. Then one day, she gets a phone call. Well, it's the husband everyone thought was dead. We had a choice to make. And I made this one, to come back and have Dean's back. It wasn't easy, but I wasn't going to get in the way of her husband." 

"I'm sorry, Sam." 

He almost winced, although Codi knew it was an attempt at a smile. "It is what it is. I can't change it." 

Sam stood and began doing the dishes, and Codi refilled her coffee cup. She decided to explore the bunker some and hopefully not get lost. It was truly an amazing place. She had never seen so many collections of lore, weapons, and monster books in one place. It was fascinating and remarkable. It was the kind of thing she wished they had even when Bobby was alive. The thought of the old man caused a twinge of grief in her gut, but she quickly pushed it away. 

Codi found Dean's room again and looked over how he had decorated it. It was very Dean, she thought. She smiled when she saw the picture of Mary on the desk. How she wished the boys could have their mother back. They hadn't gotten the chance to really know her. Her death had drastically changed their father, and Codi just wished her boys could have grown up normal. Yes, that came with the possibility of never having met them, but for them to live a normal life, it was something she would be fine with. 

She wandered back to the extensive library to find Sam reading some of the books. He looked up at her as she walked into the room. 

"Hey," he greeted. "Find your way around okay?"

She nodded, briefly. "I think. For the most part. This place is amazing." 

"It really is. Did you follow us when we met Henry?"

Codi gave a small grin. "Yes. Although I'm not quite sure who he was."

Sam breathed a single laugh. "Well...He time traveled from the 1950s. Henry Winchester. Dean and mine's grandfather."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah. We had that exact feeling. He was a Man of Letters. Pretty much a society that's heavy on the research and lore end of things, finding out how to get rid of monsters. They would then send hunters to do the dirty work. This was theirs. And now...Dean and I call it home. It's warded against pretty much...anything. So when you knocked on the door, it freaked us out."

"I can see why." Codi set the coffee mug she still held on the table Sam sat at. "So. What are you reading?"

As Sam explained the book, Codi grinned at his enthusiasm. At the fact her boys had found somewhere they could be safe. That Dean had decorated his room. It was truly amazing. Wonderful. Needed. Now she just had to wait for Dean to come back and give her the chance to explain everything a little better. 

* * *

Dean didn't return till late in the evening. True, he had become heated and jealous and angry. Knowing Codi just tailed them after she learned he was still alive really pissed him off. Not to mention this Brian chuckle-head that she didn't even deny sleeping with. But after driving for a while, he realized that, to her, he wasn't coming back. He wasn't there for her, and she needed to know everything was okay. She found comfort in the only way she could. Was he happy some other dude was with his girl? No. Nor would he ever be, but he had to be okay that Codi did eventually come back. When she thought the time was right. He had to give her that much. 

So when he returned to the bunker and descended the stairs, he stared at her as she sat in the library. She had found the whiskey and had poured a drink. She was perusing a book no doubt from the vast collection at their disposal. 

Codi turned when she sensed someone's eyes burning into her, and she immediately closed the book when she saw it was Dean. 

"Hi," she said, quietly. 

"Hey." He walked forward and sat in a chair next to her. "Look, I don't need you to explain any further. I get it. You did what you thought was right. I can't blame you for that. Can we just call it water under the bridge and forget about it?" 

"Hell yes." 

Dean pressed a kiss to her lips and took her hand, pulling her up from the chair she sat in. 

"What do you say we watch one of the movies Sam has illegally downloaded?" he asked, planting a line of kisses down her jaw and neck. 

She wrapped her arms around her hunter. "That sounds like a good idea." Codi cupped Dean's face, forcing him to pause his activity. "Maybe make up for lost time?" 

"Definitely." He stared at her for longer than usual, and tears he had held back the night before began to rim his eyes. He blinked, trying to hold them at bay, but failed. "Codi, I..." He took a deep breath. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again. When no one knew where you were, I thought you were dead. Even Sam thought you were dead. Baby, I was short of calling in a massive favor just to find out where the hell you were. And to find out you were on our tail the entire time? It's both a relief and aggravating. You were right there. Damn it, I swore I saw you everywhere. I thought I saw you in the hotel window one night."

Codi grinned. "You did." 

"What?"

"You did see me. I was making sure you were sleeping alright, and it was an accident."

Dean buried his face in the crook of Codi's neck. "I thought I was going crazy." He inhaled and held her tightly. "Every day when I was in Purgatory, you were on my mind. Every single moment. I had to get back to you. To Sam. I don't think I slept without dreaming of you, baby." Warm tears fell down Dean's cheeks, creating a wet place on Codi's shoulder. "All I needed was you. And to have you back..." Dean straightened, staring into the blue eyes that made him weak in the knees. "To have you back is the best feeling in the world. And I don't want to lose you. Ever." 

Codi tiptoed and pressed a kiss to Dean's cheek. "You won't. I'm not going anywhere. I promise." She brushed away his tears and he closed his eyes, relishing her soft touch. "Dean, you need to know something." 

He opened his eyes again. "What?"

"Although I was with Brian..." 

Dean stiffened and loosened his grip slightly. 

"Listen to me, Dean. Please." Codi took a deep breath, steadying her nerves. "Although I was with Brian, I craved you like nothing else. Yes, he held me when I hurt so bad I couldn't stand it. He would lull be back to sleep when I had a nightmare of losing you. He helped me look for you even though we slept together. He was a bandaid. I couldn't see it at the time. Even with everything he did for me, there is nothing in this entire universe that could replace you, Dean Winchester. You hear me? Nothing. The only reason I didn't come running for you was because of Brian. I didn't know how I could tell you there had been this other guy for 9 months. Because I knew how mad you would get." Codi watched as Dean's green eyes softened. "You mean more to me than anyone else in this world, Dean." 

Dean rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "I love you, Codi. I know how dangerous that is in this life, but I love you."

"I love you too, Dean," Codi whispered. "So freaking much." 

Dean kissed her in a mix of want and acceptance. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed into him. 

"What do you say I go pop some popcorn?" he asked. "Have you found the den?" 

Codi nodded.

"Why don't you set up the movie, and I'll be in there in a few minutes?"

She pressed one more kiss to his lips. "Alright," Codi whispered. 

She went to set up the movie and claimed a cushion on the couch, waiting for Dean to arrive. 

Both Winchester brothers walked into the den and they all smushed on the couch to enjoy the movie that was ready to play. Codi snuggled into Dean as Sammy manned the volume. 

The tension released from everyone in that moment. Their weird mashed up family was back together, although Cas was still MIA for the most part. He would come back eventually. But as Dean protectively wrapped his arm around Codi, and as Codi rested her legs across Sam's lap, everything was right with the universe. They had a home. They finally had each other again. 

And life could get back to normal. Monsters and all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!   
> This idea came to me as I began rewatching Season 8, and I hope you enjoyed it!   
> Catch you in the next one, lovelies! <3


End file.
